And there’s the magic word – perception. All of us have a unique view of the world, which is entirely our own. And it is our personal mental filter that gives life meaning. For generally happy and content people, life is seen as a fairly safe and reasonable place where they can solve most of their problems. But to anxious and depressed individuals, everyday mole hills can become mountains, and the world certainly is not a safe place to lower their guard.

People’s lives may be filled with many of the same features such as family, friends, work, and recreation, but the experience of joy or sorrow can depend more upon the person that on outside events. We may all know of the individual who, while monetarily wealthy, inside feels an emptiness no amount of retail therapy can fill. People, places, and things don’t make us happy, but rather how we view these people, places, and things.

Think about your own life. When you’re feeling great, doesn’t everything just seem to go along more smoothly? You have much more energy, you create and complete plans with enthusiasm, people respond more positively to you, and colors seem brighter. But when your mood turns blue, or even foul, the most simple task can become a burden and the world takes on a grey hue.

Some of the reasons can be physical, but some can also be attitudinal. The ancient saying, “As a man thinks, so he becomes,” really applies here. Often what we tell ourselves has a direct and powerful influence on how we think, feel, and act.

Try an experiment. Tell yourself you’re stupid, ugly, and life is unfair. What do you immediately feel?

Now tell yourself you’re smart, attractive, and exactly where you need to be in life. Can you feel the difference? the brain is like a reflecting mirror. It shines back exactly what you tell it because all it knows is your perceptions on interpreted events.

We are all born a blank slate – every thought, opinion, and attitude has been scripted by what others have told and shown us. As we matured, we were able to make our own conclusions about life based on those early foundations. So, if you were raised in a warm and trusting home, then you may view the world as generally a safe place. If, however, you were abused and rejected, then you may develop some emotionally crippling chains tied to fear and anger.

But humans are powerful creatures! We all have the ability, through insight and hard work, to recognize our negative thoughts and turn them into positive feelings and actions. And, it may be as simple as saying, “I love myself. I am a good person. I am where I need to be.” They’re simple steps, but important ones to achieve happiness now, not sometime in the future.

If you’re seeking help on altering the way you speak to yourself to create a new destiny, I welcome you to schedule a 15 minute free consult to determine if counseling with Leslie Tourish will be a good fit. Please contact me today to schedule your free introduction.