I once had, what turned out to be, the good luck of having my washing machine break down in mid-spin cycle. After pushing and pulling on knobs, checking electrical cords, and giving vague threats of a junk heap future to the silent machine, I loaded up my soggy, soapy clothes into a hamper and drove to the laundromat.
Entering into the intimate kissing-cousin warmth of the QuickWash, I noticed it was filled with people sifting through clothes, a man writing a letter on a sorting table, and children finding new ways to careen the wheeled-clothes baskets into whatever fit the category of a vegetable, animal, or mineral. Grumbling, I sopped my clothes into a machine and fed the battle-scarred washer its brace of quarters. I scanned the room for an empty, hard plastic chair, and grabbed off a stack of grimy magazines – a muscle car publication worn limp from hundreds of pairs of hands and the thick atmosphere of fabric softener-perfumed air. Let the sulking begin.
When you are assertive, you can stand up for your opinions, beliefs, and wishes in such a manner so as not to violate the rights of others. Passive people take the path of least resistance, hoping others will figure out their needs and fulfill them. Aggressive people steamroll over the rights of others via the destructive tools of manipulation, anger, and guilt.
When you are assertive, you can stand up for your opinions, beliefs, and wishes in such a manner so as not to violate the rights of others. Passive people take the path of least resistance, hoping others will figure out their needs and fulfill them. Aggressive people steamroll over the How do you know if you’ve been in the presence of one of these people? If you’ve been with a passive person, then you may walk away feeling superior and somewhat pitying of them. An aggressive person will leave you feeling victimized, angry, and resentful. Yet, after an encounter with an assertive person, you feel energized, respected, and positive. What a difference an approach makes!
After my attention could no longer be forced to focus on an article on chrome grille-buffing, I began to look around the laundromat drenched in Saturday afternoon light. My eye travelled back to the young man writing his letter as he stood hunched over the folding table. I noticed he was writing on paper that was well over three feet long and totally covered a surface that normally saw only towels, shirts, and skivvies. With fluid motions, he skimmed over the pages in an elegant long-hand style, his expression lost in the motion of the script. My curiosity won over my manners, and slowly I got up to casually walk behind him to get a better view of what he was doing.
Over his intense, hunched shoulders, I watched him swiftly ink on pages covered in horizontal lines, the magical language of black dots, sticks, and flags. He was composing. music, oblivious to the bank of dryers behind him baritone-humming in unison and mothers bellowing at their kids to behave.
That is one of my favorite memories of discovering a glimpse of grace amidst the mundane. The spirit of creativity for many of us is the heart of finding meaning in life. However, the pulse of creativity beats the faintest in my clients who are clinically depressed, which I believe is an active factor in keeping them marooned in their despair.
Psychological theorist, Nathaniel Branded, Ph.D., writes, “Creative persons listen to and trust their inner signals more than the average. Their minds are less subservient to the belief systems of others, at least in the area of their creativity. They are more self-sufficient. They may learn from others and be inspired by others. But they value their own thoughts and insights more than the average person does.
“Studies tell us that creative people are far more likely to record interesting ideas in a notebook; spend time nursing and cultivating them; put energy into exploring where they might lead. They value the productions of their mind.
“Persons of low self-esteem tend to discount the productions of their mind. It is not that they never get worthwhile ideas. But they do not value them, do not treat them as potentially important, often do not even remember them very long and rarely follow through with them. In effect, their attitude is, “If the idea is mine, how good can it be?”
“CREATIVITY IS SEEING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HAS SEEN, AND THINKING WHAT NO ONE ELSE HAS THOUGHT”
— Albert Einstein
Creativity is not reserved only for writers, photographers, or musicians. It’s taking joy in baking a loaf of bread, writing an inventive marketing plan, or, yes, buffing to a brilliant sheen the aluminum of your muscle car’s grille. It’s whatever fires your mind and allows deep satisfaction to course your veins.
The power of the Muse is understood by the writer, Henry Moore, who said, “Now I really make the little idea from clay, and I hold it in my hand. I can turn it, look at it from underneath, see it from one view, hold it against the sky, imagine it any size I like, and really be in control, almost like God created something.”
If you’re finding yourself suffering from depression and finding it difficult to connect with your creative and inspiring self, I welcome you to schedule a 15 minute free consult to determine if counseling with Leslie Tourish will be a good fit. Please contact me today to schedule your free introduction.
Leslie Tourish LPC 
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