Kindness Comes From Strength: A Parking Lot Lesson in Grace

The Scene: A Grocery Store Drama Unfolds

We live in fractured times. A global pandemic lingers, prices rise, and headlines scream of distant wars. It’s enough to make anyone snap—like the stranger who left a blistering note in a grocery store parking lot, scrawled in pink cursive: “Only a greedy apple-picker takes two spaces for their ‘big ego’ car to compensate for their small mind.”

But what happened next was extraordinary.

Beneath the anger, another hand had replied in steady blue ink: “I’m sorry to have made you so angry. I should have checked my parking. I hope your day gets better.”

No defensiveness. No counterattack. Just radical accountability.

The Alchemy of Kindness

Why Kindness Benefits You

That apology was more than good manners—it was a masterclass in emotional resilience. Research shows that acts of kindness:

• Lower stress hormones (cortisol drops by 23% in both giver and receiver)
• Boost serotonin, the neurotransmitter that regulates mood
• Create a “helper’s high”—a neural rush similar to runner’s euphoria

Yet in our frayed world, kindness is often mistaken for weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth. The reality is displaying kindness has many benefits to you.

Why Kindness is a Superpower

1. It Disarms Conflict
   • The blue-ink writer transformed a hostile interaction with one sentence. Studies confirm that apologies reduce aggression by 50%.
2. It Protects Your Mental Health
   • Epictetus, the Stoic philosopher, taught: “You’re harmed only when you believe you’re harmed.”Choosing kindness prevents toxic rumination.
3. It’s Contagious
   • University of California research found witnessing kindness increases oxytocin, making observers 30% more likely to “pay it forward.”

The Courage to Choose Compassion

Using Kindness to Overcome Negative Responses

That parking lot exchange mirrors our daily choices. When someone cuts us off in traffic or snaps at the coffee shop, we can:

• React: Fuel the anger cycle (and our own stress)
• Respond: Meet frustration with grace—the ultimate power move

If you choose the effective Response method, here are some options for you to maintain balance and heated emotions:

• Pause Before Reacting: Ask “Will this matter in 24 hours?”
• Reframe the Story: Maybe the bad parker was a sleep-deprived parent.
• Lead with Empathy: Like the blue-ink stranger, acknowledge others’ feelings first.

As therapist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wrote: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose.”

Your Kindness Toolkit

The science is clear: Kindness isn’t just moral—it’s medicinal. In a world that often feels broken, it’s the glue that holds us together.

Leslie Tourish, LPC, is a Dripping Springs psychotherapist specializing in resilience. Learn more at www.leslietourish.com.