Some people carry negativity the way heat rises off a Texas sidewalk in August—thick, relentless, and impossible to ignore. You don’t always see it at first, but after a few moments in their presence, you begin to feel it pressing in on you, draining your energy and clouding your thoughts.
Most of us have known someone like this. From a safe distance, they can be fascinating. Up close, they are exhausting.
Years ago, I worked alongside a woman whose anger and dissatisfaction seemed bottomless. If her bitterness could have been converted into water, it would have washed us—desks, chairs, filing cabinets and all—right out of the building and into the street. One morning she stationed herself outside my office, and for fifteen uninterrupted minutes, she cataloged her grievances with remarkable consistency: difficult clients, unfair coworkers, impossible demands, and a world that seemed perpetually stacked against her.
As I listened, I felt something subtle but unmistakable happening inside me. My mood shifted. My shoulders tightened. A heaviness settled where there had been ease. Eventually, I stood up, quietly closed my office door, and put on music—something gentle and grounding—to counter the weight of her cynicism.
Thank you, Mozart.
Negativity is Contagious.
Negativity seeps into the room and into the people nearby, draining not only joy and motivation, but often something deeper—our emotional and spiritual energy. But the greatest toll of chronic pessimism is not on those who overhear it; it is on the person who lives inside it every day.
Negativity is Contagious – But so is Calm
Protecting your optimism doesn’t mean denying reality; it means choosing where your emotional energy goes.
Understanding the Roots of Pessimism
It can be tempting to dismiss pessimistic people as difficult, toxic, or simply unpleasant. And while setting boundaries is important, understanding the origins of negativity can help us respond with clarity rather than resentment.
Negativity often grows out of disappointment—dreams deferred, goals abandoned, hopes that once felt possible but now feel unreachable. Over time, frustration hardens into anger, and anger becomes a lens through which everything is viewed. Compassion doesn’t require us to absorb that lens; it simply reminds us that pessimism is often learned, reinforced, and deeply personal.
As George Bernard Shaw once observed, “Do you know what a pessimist is? A man who thinks everybody as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.” While sharp in tone, the observation points to something important: pessimism is not a fixed personality trait—it is a way of thinking.
And that means optimism is not naïve or accidental – it is also learned.
Why the New Year is a Crucial Time to Protect Your Optimism
The beginning of a new year often arrives carrying both hope and vulnerability. We are more open, more reflective, and sometimes more exposed. This is precisely when pessimism—ours or someone else’s—can take hold if we aren’t attentive.
Protecting your optimism does not mean denying reality or pretending everything is fine. It means choosing where you place your attention, how you interpret experiences, and what voices you allow to shape your inner world.
Below are practical ways to strengthen your optimism and keep pessimism—whether internal or external—from taking root.
7 Practical Ways to Keep Pessimism from Pulling You Down
It is one thing to read and learn about a topic. It’s a completely different use of your brain power to take steps to implement that knowledge. Following are my easy tips to stop pessimistic people from robbing you of happiness.
Notice how Negativity Affects You
Pay attention to your body and mood after interactions with chronically negative people. Fatigue, irritability, heaviness, or discouragement are signals—not weaknesses. Awareness is the first step toward protection.
TIP: After draining interactions, give yourself a reset ritual like a walk, peaceful. music, silence, or a few slow breaths.
Develop Compassion without Absorbing the Energy
You can understand someone’s pain without carrying it for them. Compassion is not the same as emotional availability without limits.
TIP: Silently remind yourself, “This is theirs, not mine.”
Focus on Solutions, Not Spirals
Pessimism thrives on repetition—replaying problems without movement. Optimism looks for motion, even small steps forward.
TIP: When faced with negativity, ask yourself: “What can I influence right now?”
Guard Your Inner Dialogue
Negativity from others often becomes negativity toward ourselves if we’re not careful. Notice the language you use internally.
TIP: “This will never work” with “I don’t know how this will unfold yet.”
Choose Your Inputs Carefully
What you listen to, read, and watch matters. Your nervous system absorbs tone as much as content.
TIP: Balance necessary exposure to stress with intentional moments of beauty, humor, or quiet.
Stay Connected to Your Values
Optimism grows when your actions align with what matters most to you—kindness, creativity, faith, growth, or service.
TIP: Ask yourself, “What kind of person do I want to be this year, regardless of circumstances?”
Reach Out when You Feel Stuck
Even the most optimistic people need support. Asking for help is not a failure; it is a course correction.
TIP: Therapy, trusted friends, or spiritual support can help reorient you when pessimism starts to feel heavy.
Optimism is a Practice, Not a Personality
Both pessimism and optimism are habits of thought—patterns shaped by experience, reinforced by repetition, and strengthened by belief. The good news is that habits can change. Optimism is not about ignoring difficulty; it is about believing in movement, meaning, and possibility even when things are uncertain.
As the new year unfolds, you will inevitably encounter discouragement—your own or someone else’s. When you do, remember that you are not required to carry it. You are allowed to choose steadiness over spirals, hope over heaviness, and light over exhaustion.
Protecting your optimism is not selfish.
It is an act of care—for yourself and for the life you are building.
My wish for you in 2026 is finding the ground you stand firmly on and respecting yourself and your values when dealing with others. You will never be able to completely void your life of negative people. But you sure can impact the way you react.
Leslie Tourish LPC 
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